There are literally tens of thousands of hadith, narrations which document the sayings and actions of the best of creation, our guide, the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings upon him. Understood alongside the Qur’an they give us a complete roadmap for a successful life and of course a successful marriage too.
There are tons of hadiths specifically around marriage but many other narrations have a lot to offer us too when we apply them to marriage – so here’s 3 hadiths that can help everyone, single or married, to get the most out of their relationships!
The full hadith narrated by Muslim is as follows: “He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent.” Now, don’t get me wrong, communication is a key ingredient for a successful relationship and that includes tackling tough topics like how you want to raise kids, budgeting, and of course who has control of the remote! However, there’s a reason why Allah in His infinite Wisdom gave us two ears and one mouth; remember sometimes holding your tongue is a better way to communicate than to let loose and cause damage!
“He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent.” – Muslim
Your wife doesn’t need to be told a few months into your marriage that her clothes are getting a little tighter, she knows it already, trust me. Likewise, your husband doesn’t need to be reminded that your neighbours have bought a shiny new car whilst you’ve been in the same banger for years, he can see just as well as you.
By all means express your emotions and your concerns and worries, but there’s never a reason to be unkind. So, speak good and if not, keep schtum!
The full hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslims goes like this: “A man said to the Prophet, ‘Give me advice.’ The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, ‘Do not get angry.’ The man asked repeatedly and the Prophet answered each time, ‘Do not get angry.’”
In another hadith, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The powerful man is not the one who can wrestle, but the powerful man is the one who can control himself in a moment of anger.”
This is AMAZING marriage advice and bloody hard too! Living with anyone 24/7, even the love of your life, is guaranteed to cause tension at some point. It’s not a case of if, it’s just a matter of when – you will drive each other crazy. It’s inevitable. However, being able to control and compose yourself when tempers become flared is what is crucial to a successful relationship.
What you might say in a moment of anger can cause a lifetime of hurt, I’ve seen it first-hand. The Prophetic advice is so clear: don’t get angry. Don’t. Get. Angry. Deep your understanding of emotional intelligence, learn how to recognise when you are feeling upset and angered and then uncover how to calm yourself and deescalate a scenario.
Imam Ghazali likened our anger to a ferocious dog, if you do not control the beast, the beast will control you. We’ve all seen people lose it completely in a fit of rage, they literally have no control. Don’t be that person and remember both men and women can fall prey to this.
Don’t be angry. Sounds simple, but in practice it can be the hardest thing on earth. You’ll never regret removing yourself from a situation and calming yourself down before re-approaching any particular challenge or issue you might be having in your relationship. Making wudu and praying two rakaats is a great way to calm down, if you struggle with your anger, seek help now, don’t wait till it’s too late.
Bukhari and Muslim narrate the following: “None of you will believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.”
Having been matching tens of thousands of Single Muslims for almost two decades I’ve learnt what keeps a marriage together is understanding that as you are walking this path of twists and turns, your partner is treading their own path.
“Remember the Qur’an and hadith are full of wisdoms to transform our character”
You may have ideas and hopes for combined goals as a couple, but remember often the speed and the ways to get to that goal may dier between the two of you. Loving for your spouse what you love for yourself is showing compassion for their unique life journeys, preferences and temperaments. It’s understanding that you’re both in this together and you’re there to support each other. When you put your partner’s needs before yours, they will then turn to you with appreciation and also show you the same compassion and consideration!
Remember the Qur’an and hadith are full of wisdoms to transform our character and conduct, with a little reflection we can apply those wisdoms to our relationships and find a renewed sweetness in our relationships. Got any favourite verses or hadith of your own? Let us know in the comments and be sure to share this piece with a friend or loved one!